What is Isopropyl Alcohol? In this short story, we imagine what chemicals would be like if they were people. Isopropyl Alcohol is represented by our fictional character “Mrs. Isopropyl”- while her husband has been left as an anonymous “Mr. Alcohol”. Enjoy!
It was Saturday morning. Mr. and Mrs. Alcohol were sitting at their dining room table, eating breakfast. The sun had barely poked up, the first rays of dawn mellowly peeking in the windows. The toaster popped. Mr. Alcohol leaned back in his chair, stretched, and yawned.
“What are we doing today?” he asked.
Mrs. Isopropyl grabbed the toast from the toaster and began spreading butter and jam, lavishly. “Cleaning,” she said brightly.
Mr. Alcohol sighed. He should have known. Every day was cleaning day with Mrs. Isopropyl! Actually, he didn’t mind cleaning, himself, but- his wife was SO passionate, it was almost like she considered it her life work! When she was done, the whole house smelled like a hospital- which was all the time.
“I’ll kill 99.9% of germs,” she went on, enthused. “Disinfect the whole house. And then, I’ll kill mold, mildew and fungus, too!”
(What is Isopropyl Alcohol? Also called ‘IPA’, it’s an EPA-registered disinfectant, and widely used for cleaning purposes. In addition to bacteria, it can also be effective at killing mold, mildew, and fungus.)
One of those days. But, it was a weekend! Mr. Alcohol really thought that, on a weekend, they ought to do something fun! He thought carefully about what he ought to say. With their flammable tempers, one spark is all it’d take- the whole house could go up in flames!
(IPA is highly flammable.)
“It’d be nice to do something a little different,” he ventured politely. “Since it’s the weekend, and all?”
“Yes.” Fortunately, Mrs. Isopropyl was ready, with something in mind. “I know you like to do something different once in a while. That’s why I’ve invited some of our favorite solutes to come later tonight! We’ll make a solution! Does that sound like fun?”
(What is Isopropyl Alcohol? An alcohol solvent, IPA is used to bring other things, aka ‘solutes’, into solution.)
Mr. Alcohol thought it over carefully. It sounded fine. Whenever they got out of the house, like if they went shopping, she had a tendency to just sort of… evaporate… after a while. Plus, when they went out with friends, sometimes they just seemed to get irritated when the Alcohols hung around too long. Staying home was probably a good idea.
(IPA has a tendency to evaporate when not in a sealed container, and can cause irritation to skin, eyes, and the respiratory system if it comes in contact for too long.)
“You know I like to spend time with our favorite solutes,” he replied. “Which ones did you have in mind?”
Later that afternoon…
With Mrs. Isopropyl in her usual cleaning routine, Mr. Alcohol had retired to the back patio to lounge. Now, he could see that all the windows were open, which probably meant she was done. He stretched and looked at his watch- 3:40 p.m. The solutes had promised to come at 4:00, so that meant he had just 20 minutes to tidy himself up before they arrived. Mr. Alcohol wandered inside, expecting to find his wife buzzing about, looking fresh, smelling like her usual, clinically clean self. But she didn’t greet him, and after a few minutes, he began to realize the house was quiet.
(IPA has a clinically clean odor, and should always be used with adequate ventilation.)
“Where is she?” he mused. “Doesn’t she know we’ve got company coming in just a few minutes?“ This was most unusual, and he began to be a little worried.
Then a noise, coming from the driveway down below, caught his attention. When he went to the window, the sight that met his horrified gaze – Mrs. Isopropyl, headfirst in their car engine! Streaked with dirt from head to toe!
Quickly, Mr. Alcohol rushed downstairs and outside, to their blue sedan. It was a special car. Since his wife weighed more than 66 pounds, they’d had to get some extra labels put on it, plus a special license plate from the Department of Transportation, which read “UN 1219”. But he ignored this, for now.
(IPA is a hazardous material, and is required to be marked with a ‘UN 1219’ placard for transport, when transporting in volumes greater than 66 pounds. In smaller quantity volumes, it may claim a ‘Limited Quantity’ exemption.)
“What on earth are you doing?!” he cried, aghast. “We’ve got company coming in just a few minutes, and you’re streaked with dirt from head to toe!”
Mrs. Isopropyl looked up from the engine, where she was wiping happily, a big pile of dirty rags growing on the driveway beside her.
“…Cleaning,” she said happily. “I just had to remove this dirt, grease, and grime from our car engine before it drove me berserk!”
Mr. Alcohol sighed…
(IPA can also be used to clean dirt, grease, and grime from machinery and engine parts, to name a few. Disclaimer: However, for several reasons, we recommend using a specialized engine cleaner for actual engine cleaning.)
We hope you’ve enjoyed this fun story showing what Isopropyl Alcohol is through our made-up characters, Mr & Mrs Alcohol!
If you need IPA for cleaning, solvent, or other uses, you can buy Isopropyl Alcohol online from us in bulk quantities!
